WANTED: Portuguese lessons

Why my father never taught us Portuguese is beyond me. I wish he did. He should have.

Instead, I cannot communicate with our Avo (grandmother), except in some Spanish which doesn't always translate. I know what people are saying only sometimes, but I cannot for the life of me answer back! My brother and I sit there while the rest of the Portagees have a full conversation; we've mastered the art of zoning out from a lifetime of Sunday dinners at Avo's, which is sad.

I am jealous of people who are fluently bilingual. I could be one of those people, but I never got the chance! My mom says that when I was a little girl I would speak Portuguese all the time. My babysitters were my great aunt and uncle, talking to us in Portuguese and singing and dancing. I wish I could remember it all, because it sounds like a fun time.

As a result of my father's failing to teach us his mother tongue, I have tried to learn some Portuguese on my own. In college I found a free software program that taught me some basic words. That was a good start. Last summer I found Portuguese on CD lessons, which was even better!

The problem I have is finding continental Portuguese programs. Even that blasted Rosetta Stone software - which is supposed to be the best way to learn a language - only has Brazilian Portuguese. Damn Brazilian Portuguese.

One day I will find the necessary means to learn the language of my heritage. I am damned determined to do so. My children will learn it as well. It's not fair that my cousins all speak it, understand it, and my brother and I are mostly clueless at every holiday or family function. And it's not like my family moved to the States centuries ago. I'm a first generation Dutra in America! It's wrong that I don't know more about my culture and that I can't speak the language.

Suggestions are welcome on where to find CONTINENTAL PORTUGUESE lessons.

IROPs and IHOP

IROP = irregular operation. For those of us working at PDX, an IROP is usually along the lines of a delayed flight. We have had quite a few delayed flights coming from New York JFK to Portland - probably something to do with the start of summer. When we have an IROP we have to wait until the flight comes in so we can deplane the passengers and be there available at the baggage claim. But this waiting business can be anywhere from 30 minutes to three hours! What do you do during that time?

Well, sometimes you sit around and read magazines or books. This usually happens during those shorter waiting periods. Sometimes you get take away and a Red Box movie for the wait. To date, I've seen "The Hangover" and part of "Good Hair" while waiting. Sometimes when coming back from picking up food you run into a friend at the airport waiting to pick someone up, and you have a nice chat to catch up on each others' lives. And sometimes you get to go to IHOP for dinner. Last night we got to go to IHOP, and we had the most entertaining server in the world. Jim became our new BFF, following along perfectly with our jests, even bringing us root beer floats! We decided that future scheduling should be determined by those nights Jim works at IHOP in case we have another IROP.

The problem with IROPs, though, is your brain isn't quite on it's A-game. So you take a little longer to do those tasks that usually would be done in a jiff. You forget to clock out at the end of the night because you're excited to finally leave for home. You eat whatever is laying around which makes you a little sleepy. Motor skills are also a little impaired, because who should be awake and working at that hour? And very infrequently you get to head home just as the morning crew is walking into the office. Plus, your brain can't register what day of the week it really is, because you started work on Sunday and you're getting off work on Monday, going to bed on Monday in the early morning and waking up on Monday but it feels like it should be Tuesday - it makes one week feel like two weeks, and no one really likes their work week to take twice as long as it should.

But I enjoy the camaraderie that comes from spending time with my fellow Crewmembers. We have fun, and there is always something interesting that comes out of our conversations (see: Conversations on the Employee Shuttle). It is the people that make the IROPs bearable.

Frustrations on my mind

If I could control many situations at once I would. It would be nice if people would do things my way because it is the better way. Or at least be respectful of the people and world around them!

The AeroBed saga: I should have fixed it ages ago, but I didn't, so I'm frustrated with myself. I don't know where the AeroBed patch kit went, so I'm frustrated with myself because I've been too smart again and put it someplace overly clever or simple. The liquid patch I got at Sports Authority didn't really work, so I'm frustrated that the guy I asked for help there didn't just tell me to go somewhere else instead of telling me "this should work." And then having the clan come in to town tonight, when they will need the bed, is stressful, because what if it doesn't work?

Clark College: Why do you have me sitting here at a desk amid construction! And why do people come here asking the same question over and over despite the fact that I have already answered that question? When can I go home? Why is the one full-time person doing homework instead of answering questions and helping me with desk issues? And why does she make assumptions that I know everything when I'm only working two days a week and was gone for a month?!

My body: I feel bloated. And I just noticed all these little veins on my legs that are not attractive, but maybe they are small enough that no one will notice. And my hair is totally uncooperative. And my muscles are super sore, but I don't know why. My body doesn't let me sleep past 10:00 am, even though I only went to bed at 2:00 am. My ears are having issues; still TBD if it is airport related or congestion related.

My mind: I over think things, and I don't know how to stop, which is super duper frustrating. Contingencies and to do lists and observations are overloading my brain. And it keeps going. At the same time, could there be a better way to organize my brain? Could it be true that humans are operating at a lower brain capacity than we could be?

Work schedule: Mostly I wish I had more time between jobs to get things ready or clean or generally accomplish more tasks. It's frustrating to have two three-hour blocks of time to get myself into gear. I appreciate having the Clark job, but life would be much more convenient without it.

PMS: What woman isn't frustrated with it? My major issue is the extreme fluctuation in moods that I thought was under control but is apparently not. I've had a seriously short fuse this last week. And seriously, those Midol commercials do not lie about the issues women face when it comes to that time of the month. I've wondered for some time now if I have a hormone imbalance. It's a possibility.

My neighbors: Granted, they don't know I work nights and try to sleep in as much as possible in the mornings; but when they vacuum at 8:30 I can hear it because our walls aren't as thick as they could be. And there is a reason we are not supposed to park in the driveway areas, so parking your car in front of your garage instead of in it makes it difficult for me to maneuver my car. And stop using the tanbark area as a sidewalk or phone conversation area or for your children to play games on, because it's right next to my house and I don't always appreciate the added noise or disturbance in The Force.

I better start working out because that would probably help me release some of the frustration into the universe instead of keeping it tensed up in my shoulders and neck.

Procrastination Station

So my family is coming into town tomorrow. I have not yet finished my tasks before their arrival, but I guess that's part of my method. I wait until the last minute to get things done.

Things I have done include:

• make cookie dough and cookies, three times
• shred and sort through all the papers laying around the house
  
• move the girls into my room
• change the sheets and make the beds
  
• get pillows down
• vacuum
• washed dishes (yay dishwashers!)
• sweep
• read President Obama's Commencement Address at Notre Dame
• other things of lesser priority, but they are more fun or interesting, so I do them instead
  

Things I have yet to do but have had weeks to accomplish (in some cases months):

• patch the AeroBed that was chewed by plastic fanatic Buffy the rat last fall
• mop the first floor, which I haven't done in ages
• sweep again, because I have destructive girls and am a messy girl myself
• vacuum again, because I have destructive girls and am a messy girl myself
• clean sinks and toilets and showers

Basically I have had all sorts of time but because I'm lazy and a procrastinator I have not accomplished these tasks. I mean, don't we all prefer the drama associated with waiting until the last minute? In college, how many of us were studying for a test the night before, or writing the 15-page paper the day before it was due?

Some of us work better under pressure. You would think that, after years of knowing this is not an effective method, I would have modified my technique to a more adult, more responsible approach. But it's so much easier to put something off until tomorrow instead of taking care of it today, isn't it? I'm pretty good at doing laundry on a regular basis (the thought "I'm running low on underwear" is a big help for this one); I always pay my bills on time (say no to bad credit!); and I maintain my car when it is scheduled.

But I may have turned over a new leaf. As my body would not let me go back to bed for the last 30 minutes before my alarm was scheduled to sound, I decided to wake up and start getting things going for the day. As a result, I had 30 extra minutes to accomplish some tasks, which meant that instead of rushing to get myself ready before heading off to work, I did the following:

• prepared the third batch of cookie dough (peanut butter, deliciousness)
  
• put away the clothes that were apparently still in the dryer
• inflate the AeroBed to see if it would deflate, which it did :(
• washed the dishes from the cookie dough making

It could have been an epiphany in regards to procrastination, or it could have been a fluke. I'm still not sure which it was. I like to think I'll be more of a grown up and get things taken care of before they actually need to be done. I also like to think I'll remember things I need to do without having to write them down. That doesn't usually happen. I'll most likely go back to my old habits of shoving papers into bags and hiding them in a closet; of throwing clothes into an empty laundry basket because I'm not sure whether they're dirty or not and just washing them all; of not cleaning the sinks and toilets until the last minute because those are my two least favorite cleaning tasks; of vacuuming whenever I realize I haven't done it in a while.

And I don't really remember the last time I dusted. . .

Conversations on the Employee Shuttle

Numerous topics were discussed on the ride to the employee parking lot last night. These topics included:

• Perez Hilton possibly getting arrested for posting pictures of Miley Cyrus's hooha
• pointing out the man dancing in front of his van at the airport, and whether he is doing a pee dance or performing a scene from Flashdance
• the excessive contents of my purse (currently home to a box of Wheat Thins, puzzle book)
• "S*** my dad says" Twitter feed possibly being turned into a TV sitcom
• the trend of Haiku poems as Tweets
• creating Haiku poems to begin a Twitter account
• my apparent alcoholism?
  
• bringing butter to work for cookie baking purposes
  

I love the people I work with for the sheer entertainment of our conversations. To note, we did create quite a few Haiku poems on the ride to the employment lot. The first was a group effort:

Elevation is
an awesome song by U2
or maybe it's not

And a line for a future Haiku poem was created: Memory like your liver

Things are also much more entertaining late at night/early in the morning when sleep is imminent and a large amount of energy has just been exerted cleaning the plane.

Ratt-iversary!

Buffy and Annabel cuddle up in their first days as Dutras

It was a year ago today that I adopted little Buffy and little Annabel. I went to The Tropical Hut to get two rats, not knowing anything other than the rats were cheap there and they had rats available. I knew one would be named Buffy. That was all. I had no idea that I would get two adorable little girls with two distinct personalities.

Buffy: Fate would have it that the little blonde rat waiting in The Tropical Hut was mine. And such an appropriate name, as her namesake is for the other blonde Buffy, who happens to be a vampire slayer. I don't know what Buffy does when I go to bed, but she is quite stubborn, agile, and vey determined when she sets her mind to it. She is also more of an alpha female, playfully pinning Annabel, stealing newspaper, and with a fetish for chewing cords and cardboard. Buffy is my leaper, accomplishing feats pole vaulters would only dream of, and impressing everyone who has ever seen her clear a one foot fence or jump from the couch to the ottoman. She is my adventurat. She definitely has her own agenda.

Annabel: My timid little girl. Saved from being snake food, Annabel has never been quite right, but she has always been very sweet. As a baby she was terrified of loud noises, so I had to be careful not to open mail or put away groceries or do the dishes as noises associated with those activities would send Annabel running for a hiding place of her choosing. In fact, she still does on occasion. She is needy, making sure she is always in eye-sight of me or her ratsitter. Annabel is very stealthy for her size; silent, in apparent possession of an invisible clock, quick and nimble, she has evaded me numerous times and made it to places she is not supposed to be. She is also extremely lazy and would rather sleep during romp time than pal around with Buffy.

My girls have provided me such entertainment throughout the year. Yes, they are not the traditional pet, but they are amazing! We've never had any rats quite like these two girls, so there is always something new and exciting to encounter and learn with them. Granted, they most likely do not know the difference between today and any other day, except that they got a delicious feast for dinner and an extra yogurt drop for the day, but they are very smart and show their appreciation by being excited to see me.

Here's to Buffy and Annabel - may we have at least one more year together! And for your entertainment and mine, a video of Buffy's adventure into the criminal world. Please note the creepy Annabel in the background, a characteristic she has mastered.

Late flight, late night

I've been blessed with a great job in a time when a lot of people are having a hard time finding one. Hell, even actors we used to see in TV shows are doing commercials these days. I am very lucky that JetBlue liked my application enough to give me an interview, and it all went from there.

That being said, I'm exhausted! Almost every night the last week and a half has been a super delayed flight coming in, which means an even later flight for us working. For example, last night I didn't get home until 2:40 am, and last Thursday I didn't crawl into bed until 4:00 am! It wouldn't be such a problem if my internal alarm clock would shut itself off. I can't seem to sleep past 11:00 am, and for someone who needs about 10 hours of sleep things are starting to get difficult.

Some people in the world need the number of hours of sleep suggested by medical professionals: six to eight hours. Some need less than that, especially those of our parents' generation and older. Some, like me, need at least 10 hours. This is how the universe works. I love my bed. I love my sleep.


I have always needed a lot of sleep. From infancy, in fact. My mom tells me the story of how I would fall asleep mid-breastfeeding and she would have to try to wake me up to finish. What can I say? I'm a sleeper. I can fall asleep most anywhere, in what sometimes appears to be the most awkward and uncomfortable positions known to man. But for the sake of getting a few extra winks that I missed out on the night before... I would do nothing else.

Maybe I will be able to recuperate some of this lost sleep when I switch over to the early morning shift. I know that going to bed even earlier than before will force me to deal with even more ridicule. I've come to terms with that. You make fun of me all you want; I'll have the last laugh when I'm fully rested and ready to work, and you're sipping on coffee and energy drinks just to make it through the day.

I miss those days... of full-restedness, without yawns, the ability to focus on the task at hand. Naps and the elixir of life (a.k.a., Dr. Pepper) will be had until order is restored to my sleeping patterns. Apparently the 8:00 pm to midnight shift is host to the most sleep deprived group of people. It doesn't really surprise me. On the plus side, at least I'm getting paid for those late nights.

Everybody loves Sting

Friday I saw Sting and the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra at Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, and it was FABULOUS! Part VH1 Storytellers. Part musical theater. Part big band. All great reasons to spend the money and see him perform for yourself.

Sting had the genius idea to back up his songwriting with the winds and strings and percussion of the Royal Philharmonic, and since the majority of his songs were in fact written by the man himself, you know he was the one responsible for composing and arranging the Orchestra music to compliment such hits as "Roxanne," "Englishman in New York," and "Fields of Gold." Some of the arrangements were so different and new that I wished they was available for purchase at the over-priced souvenirs stand or on the relatively reasonably priced iTunes or the very free and very illegal downloading online. Perhaps it will come out in the future...

Arlene Schnitzer was the perfect venue for such a performance: it's intimate, classy, and the layout of the seats is such that everyone has a great view of the stage... as long as the people in front of them sit back in their seats. I did not have this luxury for the first twenty or thirty minutes. I had to tap gently on the shoulder of the woman in front of me and ask her to stop leaning over into her significant other's seat as I could not see Sting. Though romantic gestures are lovely, they could be less drastic than sharing the seat of your partner. She seemed a bit annoyed - I was annoyed as well because not only was she leaning left, her partner was leaning forward with his arms resting on his knees, obstructing my view as well - but she complied with my request. I had the support of the couple next to me, who agreed with me that it was inconvenient to have to look through someone's head in order to see Sting perform... if only I had the super powers to see through solid objects.

Sting is also a bit of a mumbler. The clever anecdotes he shared with the audience about his songwriting techniques and the meaning behind certain songs were hard to hear, which is interesting because we could hear his singing perfectly fine. Perhaps not so much a mumbler as a low talker.

In case you're wondering, the voice you hear on albums and radio is exactly like the voice you hear at the live performance, but there is something more soulful and magnificent about seeing him perform. It could have to do with the songwriting - as previously mentioned, he penned the music and lyrics for a good number of his songs - but you can feel the emotion behind every word he performed. I got goosebumps during some of his songs, and that's not just because it was quite chilly in the theater. I think it probably also had to do with the fact he had an entire orchestra behind him to give a little extra oomf. He even choreographed a few moves for the Orchestra do during the show, such as having the horns stand up and sing a little "oh oh" chorus; in particular, they were a very entertaining group of young men, especially the young man who through up a double fist pump, and the other young man who stuck the "rock on" hand gensture into the air as they were sitting down.

The overall experience made for an evening I'll never forget. Well done, Sting, well done. And excellent dance moves...

True Blood: What a laugh!

If you have been around the planet in the last year or two you've realized the population's obsession with vampires. It's translated into teen-cult books and movies (which I hear are not so good) and quite a few TV shows on the subject. A higher calibur of production and acting is involved with these shows, including a personal favorite, True Blood.

Now, by the phrase "what a laugh!" I mean it is actually quite funny... once you get past all the blood and sex and drugs and drama. I have heard a few people mention that if you were to add a laugh track to the show you would swear it was written as a comedy. It probably has to do with the clever writing of creator Alan Ball - what a guy :)

I watched season one the other week and found myself chuckling to the one liners Sookie slings at Eric, and laughing out loud at the beautiful but dim-witted Jason's remarks on anything, and enjoying the idea of the vampires' appreciation of a good pun. In fact, I found it a bit disturbing how much I was laughing considering the theme of the show and the amount of violence and gratuitious naked bodies (it is, afterall, HBO).

Now, since I do not have the abilities to be as clever with a computer as a good number of the rest of the world, I have provided you a little clip to reveal this comedic stylings of True Blood. If I remember correctly, someone took scenes from the show, renaming it "At Merlotte's" (because funny things happen on shows with a title like that): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5t_hKDfu7g

Credit where credit is due, the true comedienne of all things vampire is none other than Buffy the Vampire Slayer, with major assistance from the Scooby Gang. Seven seasons of creative genius, I'd say.

Side note: if anyone from the show by chance reads this, I would like to recommend a doughnut shop to you. Why a doughnut shop? It's all in the name: Voodoo Doughnuts. Located in beautiful Portland, Ore., Voodoo features some of the most original and delicious doughnuts you've ever seen and tasted. Considering the topic of the show and the theme of the shop, it's a match made in heaven. Just the other day a woman boarded a flight with that distinct pink box, wrapped with string, official voodoo man and doughnut logo stamped on top, informing me that its contents may not make it home... I wouldn't blame her.


For that matter, anyone who would like a delicious snack/meal/dessert - enjoy the VooDoo that they do. I recommend the Captain My Captain doughnut, which - you guessed it - is topped in the cereal of the same name. There are other classics such as the Bacon Maple Bar; the classic Voodoo Doughnut, complete with pretzel stake to the jam filled heart; Tex-Ass doughnut, which if completed in less than 80 seconds is free (it's quite large); and many more, even some that are brand new. Check out the webiste for some other delicious ideas: http://www.voodoodoughnut.com/

One month late, but better than never

As I was out of town for a good part of May, I was unable to really blog. Well, that's a lie - I had internet connection, but I was lazy. More busy than lazy really. It sounds like I'm making excuses, but really I was busy. Learning about life as an Airport Operations Crewmember for JetBlue is extensive and intense. Good thing, though, because it makes that first day a little less intimidating. A little less.

Some things to know about Orlando, or what I saw of Orlando:
1. Walgreens has everything you could ever need. From sunscreen to snacks, notebooks to postcards, toiletries to mini highlighters. Walgreens is my new favorite store...
2. If you are fair-skinned, like me, you need to wear sunscreen everywhere, and I mean EVERYWHERE! There is the potential to burn in the 15 minutes it takes you to walk from your hotel to Chili's and back. I am speaking for experience. Sadly, I am not exaggerating - I wish I was. I guess I'm just that white.
3. It is humid. You hear about how humid it is, but it's even more humid than that. And we were there in early May. Imagine what it would be like if it was the middle of summer...
4. It is hard to see an alligator in it's "natural" environment. I kept looking, as Florida is apparently full of gators, but I did not see one strolling across the street, and I did not see one on the side of the road with it's jaws wide open, as the various shuttle drivers told us they had seen.
5. TGIF has the most delicious ribs. You would not think it, but if you are hungry in Orlando you should go to TGIF. Or anywhere I suppose. Surprisingly good.

We'll call those the top five tidbits to know about Orlando, but that's mostly if you go to Orlando for training or work and are looking for a few bits of information or advice. Walking is also a great way to get around if you are staying close enough to the restaurants and stores. The evening is truly the time to walk about.

Things I've learned the first week or two on the job (and for the record, these are personal opinions and general observations, not those of JetBlue):
1. There are appropriate things to use the seat-back pocket for, which include: temporary holding your water bottle, temporary storing your magazine, temporary place to put your trash.
2. There are inappropriate things to use the seat-back pocket for, which include: dirty diapers, used gum on the safety cards, and squishy napkins or tissues.
3. Cleaning the airplanes is fun - who would have known?
4. Those two dollar headsets apparently are disposable, as many people leave them behind.
5. All those magazines, books, and other reading materials left on airplanes are stored in the office for the reading pleasure of the crew. As a result, we are more informed about the world of pop culture and current events (more so pop culture).

Apparently I'm a fan of listing things in fives today. And telling people about how awesome JetBlue is.

If you are jetting anytime soon through Portland International Airport, and it's a night flight (which means you're either heading to New York or coming in from Long Beach/New York, see if I'm working and maybe I'll be able to round up a pair of wings for you ;)