What happened to the world of celebrity? I think perhaps the pressure of normal Americans like myself has made them go a little cookoo... to say the least!
So we have Mel Gibson. Wow. Didn't know you were such a jerk, Mel. In case you hadn't heard, Mel decided to verbally berate his baby-mama, and somehow a copy of his verbal attacks made it to gossip website Radar Online. To say these rants are awful is an understatement. I didn't know one person could say so many hateful things to another, followed by a request for sexual favors. Oh, Mel, I think fathering that many kids has definitely gotten to you. And for a man in his early 50s, you ain't looking so good, buddy. Maybe you should be a little kinder to people. I would get all psycho-analysis on the situation, but I don't know if I would recover from that.
Lindsay Lohan: Oh, what a hot mess you are. Dear dear dear. I find it interesting that you didn't think you'd go to jail after violating the law not just once, and not just twice, but multiple times, after numerous slaps on the wrist. There was no way Judge Marsha Revel was going to let you get away without going to jail this time (side note: well done, Judge Marsha Revel). And my favorite part about the whole thing is that Lindsay didn't realize she wouldn't get to wear make-up in jail! Oh, honey... IT'S JAIL!!! Of course you don't get make-up in JAIL! Did you know that E! News actually made a show called "Lindsay Lohan: Road to Jail"?
On a lighter note... how fun it would be to hang out at Comic-Con! The sci-fi nerd in me would love to be down in San Diego discussing theories on LOST and chatting about the latest Joss Whedon creation, perhaps getting a photo taken with some of these "crazy" celebrities. Well, I'd say the majority of these people - because they are in fact people living extraordinary lives - aren't crazy. There's that handful that make the rest look a little nuts...
Perhaps their egos got a little too big for their britches? Hate to break it to the famous folk of the world, but once you burn the candle from both ends you're in a bit of trouble. And the legal trouble, that is some stuff you cannot escape from forever. The law: it gets temporarily blinded by the fame, but sooner or later it will get you.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Buffy kill count
A couple of years ago, sitting around with some friends, we decided to keep track of how many kills Buffy the Vampire Slayer and the Scooby Gang accumulated over the seven seasons of the show. We thought, with a name like Buffy the Vampire Slayer there has to be a high kill count. After a year between seasons, I took it upon myself to finally finish our project and managed to watch the last two in one week. Here is what we got:
Vampires: 120 (includes Dracula and four Turok-Han)
Vampire assists: 68
Demon: 56 (includes 12 baby demons)
Witch: 1
Evil human: 1
Spirit: 1
Assassin: 2
Fairy tale creature: 12
Robot: 1
Bug: 1
Monster: 4
Hellhound: 3
Possessed zookeeper/animal: 1
ADAM: 1
Lizard guy: 1
Mummy hand: 1
Demon minion: 1
Bringers: 14
Preacher with powers of The First: 1
Assists with non-vampires: 49
End of the world saves: 7
Xander end of the world saves: 1
Buffy deaths: 2
Now, our counts did not include all kills. We only kept track of the good guys' kills. And the end of the world saves did - in some cases - include the kill of the baddie who was bringing it about, so those arch-nemeses are included under the "End of the world saves" count. And the final episode had too many kills for me to keep track of, so there are no numbers for that until I can enlist some assistance from the original team to count.
There is probably a margin of error involved in the count. I'm not sure the method was that consistent, and because of the large time gap between seasons it might not be as accurate as we had hoped. We'll say overall, there was a 90% accuracy with the count. Future Buff-athons may include a new count to compare to this one.
And now you may comment on the nerdiness involved in this project or the disturbing fact that we kept a kill count....
Vampires: 120 (includes Dracula and four Turok-Han)
Vampire assists: 68
Demon: 56 (includes 12 baby demons)
Witch: 1
Evil human: 1
Spirit: 1
Assassin: 2
Fairy tale creature: 12
Robot: 1
Bug: 1
Monster: 4
Hellhound: 3
Possessed zookeeper/animal: 1
ADAM: 1
Lizard guy: 1
Mummy hand: 1
Demon minion: 1
Bringers: 14
Preacher with powers of The First: 1
Assists with non-vampires: 49
End of the world saves: 7
Xander end of the world saves: 1
Buffy deaths: 2
Now, our counts did not include all kills. We only kept track of the good guys' kills. And the end of the world saves did - in some cases - include the kill of the baddie who was bringing it about, so those arch-nemeses are included under the "End of the world saves" count. And the final episode had too many kills for me to keep track of, so there are no numbers for that until I can enlist some assistance from the original team to count.
There is probably a margin of error involved in the count. I'm not sure the method was that consistent, and because of the large time gap between seasons it might not be as accurate as we had hoped. We'll say overall, there was a 90% accuracy with the count. Future Buff-athons may include a new count to compare to this one.
And now you may comment on the nerdiness involved in this project or the disturbing fact that we kept a kill count....
Monday, July 12, 2010
Sunday afternoon phone calls
Every Sunday for as long as I can remember we would go see our Avo (Portuguese granma). Our father would bring us over, we'd "visit" for about two hours, and then he'd take us home. Sometimes we'd bring some Best Burger or Porky's Pizza along for the family to have for dinner, but as we got older that became less frequent.
When I went to college the Sunday visits became Sunday phone calls. I was expected to plan my weekly call around the time they went over to visit Avo so I could speak with her. If I wasn't home for holidays I also needed to make sure I called at the time they were over at Avo's. And then the passing of the phone - an event in itself - took place. My father would answer the phone, of course, then take it over to Avo, then the phone would get handed off to whoever was there. This is still the case. On the typical Sunday it's usually Avo, Tio Humberto, Tia Delita, Ginny, and father. On holidays it's at least 10 people.
Now I've also been present at Avo's when a phone call comes in and the phone gets passed around. You get to talk to the person on the other end whether or not you actually know them, and whether or not you speak Portuguese very well. It's embarassing and uncomfortable. When you're a kid you don't care to speak with someone you don't know, and it creeps you out a little bit. All you want to do is play and eat, especially when people around you are speaking a foreign language you don't understand.
Yesterday my poor little cousins were handed the phone when I was on the other end. They don't really know who I am because they were very young when I headed off to college, and I've been in Portland for seven years now. And - because my father is oblivious and thinks it's fun to force you to guess who is on the other end of the line - when they asked who it was, he told Austin and Jessica they would have to talk to the person and find out. I remember that when I was a kid. It's scary to not know who you're about to talk to, even if they are a family member of some kind. So as soon as they got on the phone I said, "Hey it's your cousin Kristen from Portland." I tried to keep it to less than a minute, knowing they could care less about this obligation of speaking to someone they don't really know.
I know different cultures have different practices, but this one is one that should be removed from the Portuguese traditions. First, if you already have a hard time understanding Portuguese, it's even harder to understand it over a cell phone. Second, it's not like you're going to have an in depth conversation with every person that you speak to. Third, you're mentally exhausted after going through three people, and it gets more and more confusing as you get handed around the room. Fourth, you feel a little like a rag doll or a piece of property as the phone gets handed around the room. And finally, it's cruel to force children to speak to family members who are basically strangers, even if we all share a blood line.
And it could be that it's just my experience. My father has never really taken the time to tell us about our Portuguese family. My older cousins spend time together and call each other and keep themselves updated on what's going on in their lives. My brother and I have had to figure things out for ourselves over the years, like birthdays and anniversaries. We were apathetic to our Sundays at Avo's because we never knew what was going on. In the last couple of years I've become more proactive and started writing down birthdays and taking more time to ask questions on Sunday phone calls. I've tried to learn Portuguese (see WANTED: Portuguese lessons) so I can better understand and talk with Avo.
Until I can become better at this Mother Tongue and until I learn more about my family, Sundays will always be a day of obligation, expectation and anxiety.
When I went to college the Sunday visits became Sunday phone calls. I was expected to plan my weekly call around the time they went over to visit Avo so I could speak with her. If I wasn't home for holidays I also needed to make sure I called at the time they were over at Avo's. And then the passing of the phone - an event in itself - took place. My father would answer the phone, of course, then take it over to Avo, then the phone would get handed off to whoever was there. This is still the case. On the typical Sunday it's usually Avo, Tio Humberto, Tia Delita, Ginny, and father. On holidays it's at least 10 people.
Now I've also been present at Avo's when a phone call comes in and the phone gets passed around. You get to talk to the person on the other end whether or not you actually know them, and whether or not you speak Portuguese very well. It's embarassing and uncomfortable. When you're a kid you don't care to speak with someone you don't know, and it creeps you out a little bit. All you want to do is play and eat, especially when people around you are speaking a foreign language you don't understand.
Yesterday my poor little cousins were handed the phone when I was on the other end. They don't really know who I am because they were very young when I headed off to college, and I've been in Portland for seven years now. And - because my father is oblivious and thinks it's fun to force you to guess who is on the other end of the line - when they asked who it was, he told Austin and Jessica they would have to talk to the person and find out. I remember that when I was a kid. It's scary to not know who you're about to talk to, even if they are a family member of some kind. So as soon as they got on the phone I said, "Hey it's your cousin Kristen from Portland." I tried to keep it to less than a minute, knowing they could care less about this obligation of speaking to someone they don't really know.
I know different cultures have different practices, but this one is one that should be removed from the Portuguese traditions. First, if you already have a hard time understanding Portuguese, it's even harder to understand it over a cell phone. Second, it's not like you're going to have an in depth conversation with every person that you speak to. Third, you're mentally exhausted after going through three people, and it gets more and more confusing as you get handed around the room. Fourth, you feel a little like a rag doll or a piece of property as the phone gets handed around the room. And finally, it's cruel to force children to speak to family members who are basically strangers, even if we all share a blood line.
And it could be that it's just my experience. My father has never really taken the time to tell us about our Portuguese family. My older cousins spend time together and call each other and keep themselves updated on what's going on in their lives. My brother and I have had to figure things out for ourselves over the years, like birthdays and anniversaries. We were apathetic to our Sundays at Avo's because we never knew what was going on. In the last couple of years I've become more proactive and started writing down birthdays and taking more time to ask questions on Sunday phone calls. I've tried to learn Portuguese (see WANTED: Portuguese lessons) so I can better understand and talk with Avo.
Until I can become better at this Mother Tongue and until I learn more about my family, Sundays will always be a day of obligation, expectation and anxiety.
Done being a temp
I am so ready for this to be my last day at Clark College. Granted, I won't have as much time to blog since I actually have to focus on what I'm doing at my other jobs, so that will be a downside. But my brain can now operate at a more intelligent level than it has been for the last four months.
And eavesdropping this morning has led me to believe it is the most perfect time to leave this place. First, a local director was telling people that there was a grafitti death threat on the back of the biulding that needs to be painted over ASAP. She knows it's a death threat because she had a reformed tagger as a student once who told her the difference between harmless and dangerous tagging. Second, another one of the local directors was telling the her that there was a phone call over the weekend along the same lines.
Don't get me wrong: being a temp can be great, and in this economy you can't turn down any job. But when death threats come along, it's time to leave. Thank god this is my last day! I'm hoping the responsible party doesn't start his or her day until after noon...
And eavesdropping this morning has led me to believe it is the most perfect time to leave this place. First, a local director was telling people that there was a grafitti death threat on the back of the biulding that needs to be painted over ASAP. She knows it's a death threat because she had a reformed tagger as a student once who told her the difference between harmless and dangerous tagging. Second, another one of the local directors was telling the her that there was a phone call over the weekend along the same lines.
Don't get me wrong: being a temp can be great, and in this economy you can't turn down any job. But when death threats come along, it's time to leave. Thank god this is my last day! I'm hoping the responsible party doesn't start his or her day until after noon...
Monday, July 5, 2010
Neighborhood fireworks
Ah, the 4th of July. A celebration for all Americans, complete with barbecues, beer, and buddies. Stores from Target to Costco to your local corner mart sell combo packs of legal fireworks, from the classic Sparkler to the ever annoying Piccolo Pete.
However, there are those who would much prefer a grand display of pyrotechnics, those who purchase the illegal fireworks in order to rival a city's official display of patriotism. I believe in Oregon and Washington these people drive out to the Indian Reservations to buy enormous explosions, where federal and state laws do not always apply. And when they come home from their adventure they share the fireworks with their neighbors - how sweet!
Now, it is my belief that every human being has a bit of pyromania in them, but there are some who use their brains when it comes to controlling the use of fire and there are some who do not. Those who do not use their brain are the ones who shoot the massive fireworks into the air from the middle of their street, where houses and trees and dogs have the potential for harm. These people also continue to shoot the fireworks into the air from the middle of their street all the way into the night and early morning. I know this because people in the surrounding neighborhood were doing this last night until at least 1:00 am, giving me a mini heart attack every time the pop from the firework's eruption echoed through the still night.
I believe I documented my concerns about this situation last year, and for the sake of being consistent I will do it again: WTF, people?! First, yes it's the 4th of July, but keep the firework displays to a reasonable hour; not everyone in the neighborhood is still interested in the bright colors and loud noises at midnight or beyond! Second, the reason professionals work in an open area, usually near water, is because pyrotechnics are dangerous and can catch things on fire. Please choose a less densely populated area before you shoot your illegal fireworks into the sky. Third, I love fireworks and think they are beautiful, but sometimes the idiots launching them are so self-involved that I want to storm down the street in my pajamas and slap some sense into them, and I almost did last night.
This was an uneventful 4th of July for me. It was my first day off from eight days in a row at the airport. I was very itchy from the damn bug bites on my legs. The weather was gray and not very summer-like. All in all I rather enjoyed my day indoors until the late night explosions. And because I knew they would go on late into the night I stayed up watching a movie until 12:30 am. I guess I wasn't in a very "4th of July" mood; it didn't feel like the 4th, and I didn't make any plans like I try to do. Perhaps next year I will be more adventurous and fun, and less of a Debbie Downer.
However, there are those who would much prefer a grand display of pyrotechnics, those who purchase the illegal fireworks in order to rival a city's official display of patriotism. I believe in Oregon and Washington these people drive out to the Indian Reservations to buy enormous explosions, where federal and state laws do not always apply. And when they come home from their adventure they share the fireworks with their neighbors - how sweet!
Now, it is my belief that every human being has a bit of pyromania in them, but there are some who use their brains when it comes to controlling the use of fire and there are some who do not. Those who do not use their brain are the ones who shoot the massive fireworks into the air from the middle of their street, where houses and trees and dogs have the potential for harm. These people also continue to shoot the fireworks into the air from the middle of their street all the way into the night and early morning. I know this because people in the surrounding neighborhood were doing this last night until at least 1:00 am, giving me a mini heart attack every time the pop from the firework's eruption echoed through the still night.
I believe I documented my concerns about this situation last year, and for the sake of being consistent I will do it again: WTF, people?! First, yes it's the 4th of July, but keep the firework displays to a reasonable hour; not everyone in the neighborhood is still interested in the bright colors and loud noises at midnight or beyond! Second, the reason professionals work in an open area, usually near water, is because pyrotechnics are dangerous and can catch things on fire. Please choose a less densely populated area before you shoot your illegal fireworks into the sky. Third, I love fireworks and think they are beautiful, but sometimes the idiots launching them are so self-involved that I want to storm down the street in my pajamas and slap some sense into them, and I almost did last night.
This was an uneventful 4th of July for me. It was my first day off from eight days in a row at the airport. I was very itchy from the damn bug bites on my legs. The weather was gray and not very summer-like. All in all I rather enjoyed my day indoors until the late night explosions. And because I knew they would go on late into the night I stayed up watching a movie until 12:30 am. I guess I wasn't in a very "4th of July" mood; it didn't feel like the 4th, and I didn't make any plans like I try to do. Perhaps next year I will be more adventurous and fun, and less of a Debbie Downer.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
How do you find a spider?
I have been subjected to pure torture this last week: bug bites. Now, I'm pretty sure there is a spider inflicting this cruelty, but I suppose it could some insect doing it as well. It's hard to identify the source when you never see it!
And these are itchy bites. I spend my day trying to not scratch, but alas I am unsuccessful. Have you ever had really itchy bug bites? It's misery. And you know you shouldn't scratch but it feels so damn good when you do! It's a little sick how good it feels to scratch them.
I have decided to spend the majority of today cleaning and hunting said creature of misery. I don't know where it is, or if it is even in the house at the moment. I cannot go on getting bit in the middle of the night like this. All of the bites are on my legs, and the total count increased last night from seven to eight. Seriously? Why bite me another time? Haven't you had enough of my blood or whatever it is you are trying to get from me? Perhaps this creature only bites people as a cruel joke and then watches as they suffer from the incessant itching.
I really hope I find this spider or bug. I plan on getting great satisfaction from killing it. And I'm not usually a violent person, but this means war.
And these are itchy bites. I spend my day trying to not scratch, but alas I am unsuccessful. Have you ever had really itchy bug bites? It's misery. And you know you shouldn't scratch but it feels so damn good when you do! It's a little sick how good it feels to scratch them.
I have decided to spend the majority of today cleaning and hunting said creature of misery. I don't know where it is, or if it is even in the house at the moment. I cannot go on getting bit in the middle of the night like this. All of the bites are on my legs, and the total count increased last night from seven to eight. Seriously? Why bite me another time? Haven't you had enough of my blood or whatever it is you are trying to get from me? Perhaps this creature only bites people as a cruel joke and then watches as they suffer from the incessant itching.
I really hope I find this spider or bug. I plan on getting great satisfaction from killing it. And I'm not usually a violent person, but this means war.
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