And we call it the 4th of July

It was a pretty great day. It was relaxing and not a lot happened, and that was great to me. How often do we, Americans, allow ourselves a day off? Not very often. That is why it was great. Hanging out with friends. Having a barbecue, as is tradition for any proper 4th of July celebration. Playing some games, in our case some Redneck Golf in the middle of the driveway. Watching friends get tipsy-drunk. Watching fireworks and playing with a few of our own. Classic 4th of July.

However, for all those reasons it was great, it didn't minimize the increasing concerns over the course of the day, concerns being related to one specific thing: fireworks. Oh, yes. We Americans love our fireworks on the 4th, maybe a little too much. We go to states where we can get fireworks illegal in our own state. We start lighting them as soon as the sun begins to set and the shadow of night begins to fall. We create our own fireworks show because the one put on by the city could never be as good as ours. We, Americans, become pyromaniacs as soon as the week of the 4th is upon us, and there is no holding back when flame and fuse are in the same vicinity.

I'm all for fireworks. I'm as big a pyromaniac as any American out there. However, I would like to suggest some guidelines for where and when fireworks are acceptable for the two weeks surrounding the 4th of July. Here they are:

1. Small fireworks, such as sparklers and spinning flowers and fountains, are good ideas of what should be lit in the comfort of your front yard.
2. Large fireworks, such as Piccolo Pete's and the kind they use in official productions, are not appropriate for home use. Yes, they are cool, but they are dangerous in areas where houses are close together and grass is dry. What happens if they don't make it past the treeline? Possible visit from the fire department is what happens. Maybe go to an open field or a large water source to use this kind of fireworks.
3. Shooting roman candles or fireworks across a main thoroughfare is not a wise decision. You might hit a car. You might hit an unsuspecting pedestrian walking on the sidewalk. Or a bicyclist who cannot divert their route due to obstacles in their way, like cars and buses. Or worse, a car could divert their route into a bicyclist or bus or pedestrian. Generally, shooting fireworks across the street is unwise.
4. Shooting fireworks for one hour after the official show is over is acceptable. That would bring most firework activity to a standstill at about 11:00 pm, maybe 11:30, midnight is pushing it. Still lighting fireworks at 2:45am is not cool. It's juvenile. It's disruptive. It's annoying. I'm really sure the neighbors and their pets don't appreciate the splendor of an exploding firework above the house as much as you do. In some places, this kind of behavior would warrant a visit from the police department or the distinct sound of a shotgun getting ready to be fired or even water coming at you from the garden hose. It's not nice, so don't do it.
5. When the 4th of July is over, so is the usage of fireworks. Get over the fact that you still have fireworks left. Store them in a safe place and use them next year. It's not our fault you failed to use them in the appropriate time frame.

Hopefully, these guidelines will assist in future fireworks activity. Like I said, I love fireworks, but there's a limit that we as people of this lovely nation should follow as a sign of respect to those around us. We call ourselves the greatest nation in the world, so let's show them we're not blowing hot air out of our ass.

Happy 4th, everyone. Hopefully you were all safe and had a great day.