Conversations with real Army wives

I recently visited a friend in Tennessee. I went to help with whatever I could and provide her entertainment as she enters her eighth month of pregnancy. She is married to an Army helicopter pilot who is overseas at the moment. He was off-base running missions in the middle of nowhere, and in November he is coming back to Tennessee to be present for the birth of their first child. He will have to return to Afghanistan after the birth.

Every night we had dinner with a few of the other Army wives, their husbands in various stages of deployment.

One was waiting for her husband to come home in a couple of days for his R&R (rest and recuperation), a fact she did not share with her two small children because she wanted to make sure he was actually state-side before getting their hopes up.

One just had a baby five months ago. I'm not sure when her husband was last home, but as with the other wives, she will not see him again until February when he is scheduled to return stateside.

One had spent the last two weeks with her husband and their 1-year-old. My last evening there was my first time meeting her, and she got teary-eyed when the other wives asked how she was doing. For two weeks she spent time with the men of her life, her husband and her son, and now she would have to wait until the beginning of next year to see her husband again. She spends most of her time back home in Chicago while her husband is overseas.

The last wife just bought a new house with her husband, who is not scheduled to deploy until the end of the year. She just got a new promotion on the same day she was planning on quitting because she didn't get to spend enough time with her husband.

These women are extraordinary. All with different personalities, all dealing with the same rotten situation, all sharing the same emotions. It was fascinating to hear them talk about their feelings, their worries, the thoughts that run through their minds. They've created their own support system, beyond that of their own families, because they are all experiencing the same thing. They meet each night for dinner, rotating chefs for every meal, as well as staying in communication throughout the day.

They shared the frustrations they have with family who don't understand the position they are in. They talked about the fear that they will be "that widow" that everyone talks about. They gossiped about some of the other wives who complain on the internet and spread rumors and instigate controversy. They discussed the things their husbands tell them, and the things they know their husbands don't. The traded knowledge about raising their infants, things they came across as their babies got older. They helped each other with problems or answered questions another wife had. They talked about religion, and how life is not up to them to decide. They talked about talking with their husbands, who, though overseas, work very hard at calling and emailing and text messaging their wives and families to let them know they are OK. They discussed what it is to feel the anxiety of learning of a loss in the platoon and not knowing who it is, and trying to get as much information as possible from the few sources that report it, and the looming threat of the military vehicle that could arrive at their doorstep at any time of day with heartbreaking news. They expressed frustration with people who did not understand their lifestyle. They remembered what life was like in the other states their husbands were stationed in, and how different each place was. They listened.

The camaraderie among these very different women was so strong, and though the conversations they have are of a serious nature, but they share their stories and information in a way that is more comforting than worrying. For them to let me sit in and share a few meals with them was a great honor. For me to learn more about their lives and experiences was a great eye opener.

There are some things you talk about with a person who has a loved one in the military, and there are some things you don't. These women will only talk about the "don't" stuff with each other, people who know what it's like, people who can reassure them it will be all right once their husbands return. They don't think about the work their husbands are doing. They look forward to the day they can see their husbands faces and hold their husbands for a good long while. And they all work together to help each other get through it.

When it rains...

There are nights like tonight when the rain is actually quite soothing. The serenity from the drops falling on the rooftop, the sounds of tires kicking up the water as cars drive by, the general silence in the world because everyone is indoors.

I'm enjoying the quiet and peacefulness that comes from a night like tonight. I hope the sound of the rain will help me to sleep quite well this evening.

I would say this feeling I have does not always come about with the rain. Frequently I think to myself, another soppy night, or guess I'll need warm clothes tomorrow. I'm taking advantage of this great satisfaction with the world that I have right now.

It does rain a lot in Portland - well, the Northwest in general - so I'm taking tonight's enjoyment and running with it, because the rest of the year I will probably not feel this way. Thank you, Saturday night, for providing me with a good rainfall.

Planning vacations is hard

I'm planning a big adventure for the big 2-5. I'm going to Disneyland!

However, I am beginning to notice the level of difficulty associated with planning such an epic adventure. The tickets are the easy part. Finding a reasonably priced hotel, figuring out the best time to go, and also scheduling an itinerary... Mom didn't tell me planning a vacation was going to be so hard!

Budget constraints are the main limiting factor. I'm turning 25; I don't have the budget of someone nearing retirement. Plus, I'm working part time, so I don't even have the budget of a full time person.

No worries, though. I may have come up with a solution. You only hit the quarter-century mark once in your life. So why not make a few concessions and spend a little extra on the room? Call it the birthday gift to myself... in addition to the actual Disneyland experience.

The other thing is my birthday falls between two major holidays: Christmas and New Year's. Uh, it's going to be epic in more than just one way, my friends. I have never in my life spent a day in Disneyland between major holidays. I'm pretty excited about the adventures this could lead to.

Plus, we're going to see the world's biggest doughnut, so even better!

I think, yeah, I will use that money from arts and crafts in the Res Life office towards my Southern California adventure. Making decisions is hard.

Finnair, you tempt me with your offer

In case you didn't hear, Finnair is looking for four Quality Hunters to travel the globe and report back on all things quality: http://rethinkquality.finnair.com/quality-hunters/

Actually, I don't know if that's really what you'd be doing, but I imagine you'd get some sort of training from them or a list of expectations. It might mean I'd have to get a Twitter account...

Now, I just submitted my application. Why not, right? No commitments right now. It would be super fun. And it could help me to accomplish seeing more of the world's largest things!
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In other random news, I was sent an email from somewhere that wanted me to pre-order my "Belly Bump Ball" by Museum Tour. Imagine a large red inflatable raspberry you would wear around you like a Halloween costume.

It looks pretty fun, but why would you want to pre-order one? I'm guessing if they were out of sumo wrestler outfits you could get the Belly Bump Ball. If my Halloween costume does not work out like I think it will, I may have to invest in this thing and actually be a raspberry instead.

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Sinus infections are a pain in the butt. Well, head, actually, but the saying doesn't say pain in the head. I found out I actually have a pretty bad one. I had a temperature for the first time in a really long time. 100 degrees Fahrenheit! That's pretty high for someone who's average body temperature is right around 97.5 degrees Fahrenheit. And I needed to get antibiotics.

I'm not a very good sick person. I don't rest is my problem. There are things I could and should be doing instead of sitting around doing nothing. And drinking all these liquids is out of my norm, as well. I decided that I'm going to kick this sinus infection out of my body as soon as possible, so I'm actually trying to be a good little patient.

I'd say overall, though, I'm pretty good at not infecting other people. I wash my hands regularly, use sterilizing wipes in areas I've been working, and I warn others that I have whatever sickness it is so they are not alarmed in the off chance they catch what I have.

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I've started a new blog about my adventures to see the American originals/roadside attractions I keep looking up. It's called "Look what I found!" and is located at the web address dutysbigtravels.blogspot.com. I finally opened it up after the first BIG adventure to see the world's largest frying pan this past weekend. I now have a running total of three blogs to maintain, but as there have been no major developments in my dating life it's really just the two.

I'm pretty excited about checking all these things out. And my buddy Derek has agreed that one day we shall road trip and look for random roadside attractions. He and his wife, Holly, already saw a couple of items, including the world's largest prairie dog and the world's largest candle. I mean, how awesome is that!

A movie review: Easy A

Megan and I went to see this movie the other night at a free screening event, and all I have to say is well done, Sony; great film to produce. Oh, and I may spill some plot lines here, so if you're like me and like to be surprised you will be upset with some of the following information.

Basically the film pays homage to the John Hughes classics of the 80s, as well as another classic film from that decade, Say Anything. In fact, there are many a reference to Mr. Hughes, including a shout out to Ferris Bueller's shower scene with the shampoo mohawk. But it does more than make a few references; "Easy A" is cleverly written in the style of Hughes. If you like a whip-smart teenage girl who is wise beyond her years with her retorts, you'd like Olive. Plus, she's funny. And not just a slapstick version of funny, but the lines written for Olive are witty and intelligent, not something you see a lot of these days.

Premise: Emma Stone plays Olive, a girl who lies about losing her virginity but then becomes the butt of the joke in her high school's rumor mill. The lies get worse and worse as she tries to help out the "lower class" of Southern California public high school society: nerds, wimps, a gay friend. And it just keeps getting worse for poor Olive. And so, because she's a funny girl and appreciates a good cultural reference, and because her English class is studying "The Scarlet Letter," Olive takes it upon herself to wear Hester Prynn's letter around campus on a newly skanked-up wardrobe, taking on the world of high school gossip and drama. She does solve the problem of the continuous rumor mill by addressing her peers online (because kids take to the internet instead of sending memos to the class), and she rides off into the sunset with the guy on a lawnmower, fists pumped into the air a la Judd Nelson in The Breakfast Club.

The best part about the movie, though, would have to be the casting. Oh, how I love the casting! Emma Stone, first of all - how adorable is she? - is perfect as Olive, though I didn't really think the name fit the character. It probably helps that Stone appears to have a quirky sense of humor. Her parents were played by Stanley Tucci and Patricia Clarkson. Even more perfect! I wanted them to be my parents after I left the movie. I mean, spelling out a dirty word in your peas because you don't want your younger brother to know the word - c'mon. Too good. They played those roles perfectly. It could also have been how the characters were written, but give credit where credit is due: both actors are way under used and super good. Penn Badgley of "Gossip Girl" fame plays Woodchuck Todd, the looove interest. It would probably have been more believable to have him still in high school if he didn't look to be in his early 20s, but he was still very excellent in the role. And Amanda Bynes, who retired but didn't retire and maybe this was her last movie pre-retirement, anyway... she's in it, too. But again, she's 24, too, and talk about overkill on the make-up. She's still damn funny, but it's weird to see her in a high school role again. I think Hollywood needs to figure out a way to hire some actual teenagers for teenage roles, but I guess they would not cast people if they did not fit the part. At least they weren't 30-year-olds trying to pull off 18. And Thomas Hayden Church and Lisa Kudrow as faculty members? Yes, please. Awesome.

I think the most concerning part of the film, though it is very smart and clever and funny, is the truth behind the high school rumor mill, especially these days. This poor girl isn't even across the school courtyard and already half the school has heard she's lost her virginity. And even when she tries to tell her best friend the truth, her friend believes the rumors more than the truth. It's seriously bad out there, and these kids have no self-esteem already, so of course their going to team up and join the flock in making sure they are not the victims of a cruel cruel rumor-fueled world. What with gossip feeding the American economy - tell me you didn't notice Lindsey Lohan making the evening news a couple of weeks ago, taking priority over a tragic day overseas in the Middle East - and the internet and text messaging as the wave of the future, it's going to be a different world when our kids are in school.

Oh, and in case you're wondering where the name of the movie comes from, A is the letter poor Hester Prynn gets to wear on her chest, carrying her bastard baby around town, getting judged by everyone else about what kind of person she is. And Easy would be in reference to how easy it is for people to believe Olive has become a slut; also in reference to a lady or gentleman who has the sex with whomever whenever they want.

Basically, I'm saying this is a flick you could see in the movie theater and not be disappointed about paying the money for it. If you went to a matinee, it'd be cheaper, but I'd say I might even wait for an evening ticket... no, I'm more a matinee person anyway. I was laughing a good part of the time and there were parts I wished I wasn't so I could hear the dialogue because it was so smart, but then I wouldn't have been laughing and it was very funny, so that would have been a bummer. Perhaps when it comes out to a smaller theater - you know, the kind that's $3 a ticket - I'd even see it again.