Not referencing the great musical number from "Enchanted." No, I'm talking more about jobs and what the future holds, mostly because in about a week I'll be unemployed for an unknown amount of time.
Here's the question I keep getting asked: what do you want to do? I understand that I should have some idea of what I want to do, but in all honesty, I don't. I'm apparently not like the rest of the world because I have no idea what I specifically want to do. I haven't narrowed it down at all. In fact, if I had my choice, I'd do a bunch of things over the course of my lifetime. These would include: event planning, the training and hiring field of human resources, logistics, singer, wedding planner, bookstore, bakery, dog walking, interior design, music industry, hotel/travel industry, editing, advising. Clearly I have no idea what I want to do because I want to do it all!
Why do we have to make up our mind now about what we want to do for the rest of our lives? Can't I be like the Europeans who only work to live? They do what they do to support themselves, or at least that's the mentality. That's why they take siestas at 3:00 every day for hours on end and are up at all hours. They live a carefree lifestyle that keeps their stress level down and their general outlook on life up. I would move to Europe in a heartbeat, by the way. Find me a Scotsman and settle down. That'd be grand.
Back to the point. I have too many areas I want to be able to concentrate in that I don't know what I really want to do. I don't think I could choose just one. And, yes, I have a Bachelor's degree, but all that's good for these days is what I'm doing right now: office work. And I enjoy office work. It's not stressful, I get little projects to work on and keep me busy, people leave me alone to do my thing, I get to socialize with the rest of the people in the area and get to know them. I don't know if I want to be forced into getting a higher degree just so I can do something that's slightly more complex. For example, advising. I'm good at it. I've been doing it for years but didn't know there was a name for it until I spent the last two years practicing it as an AHD. I know I'm good at it, and yet I have to have a Masters in it in order to get this really perfect-for-me job. What happened to the good old days when experience mattered in addition to education?
Now I spend my days updating my resume and looking for jobs. I joined a site that filters those without the correct experience out of the job pool, and that leaves me with six options according to my skills I've listed on the website. I looked on the state website that uses this filtering system and found at least 10 I'd be good at and want to apply for, but only one of them is also on the list of the original six. That's a flaw - what about matching skills over experience. Skills are transferable, people! I'm a totally viable candidate for most of the positions up there that require a pleasant phone voice, friendly personality, and common sense, but according to this matching website I can only be considered for six. Ridiculous.
When will we be able to do what we're good at and not worry that our experience also matches? Are we forever stuck in the path we started on? What if I want to stray off into another direction? I do that everyday and I know I'm going to do that when it comes to my job path. Side note: I keep adding things to the list of fields I'd love to work in. I can't stop. Here's another: crochet blankets and sell them online. I'm going to go wash up and get ready for bed - I get too depressed when it comes to job applications.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Saturday, August 15, 2009
What a crappy day
Weather wasn't all that great either. I had a pretty bad start this morning, and if only I knew how it would end. Actually, the end hasn't been so bad.
Here's the rundown: This weekend I've been the Hall Director on duty while the rest of Residence Life frolics in wild unknown on a retreat. It's not that unknown. Mostly it's a center near a river and there aren't a lot of people around. More rural than anything. Point being, I'm doing them this huge favor by sleeping on campus and responding in case anything happens. More of an insurance policy if anything. Last night nothing happened. Nothing has happened so far tonight, either. But I'm in a very old building on the complete other side of campus from everyone else and the room has poor air circulation. This leads us into today's crappyness.
Last night I had the window open so it was at least a little cooler in here. That led to whatever blooms outside the window to get it's little pollen bits into the room, which led to me waking up with a headache (I have bad allergies). So, I have this slight headache for a good portion of the morning which increases in pain and tension until about 1:00. I had left campus and headed home while most people had their Saturday morning sleep-in, had breakfast, played with the babies a little, showered, and gone to Target before that time, so not too bad. But the headache needed to go, so I took an Excedrin - best medicine for a headache of any kind. After some lunch and a bit of a rest, I finally felt well enough to go to the grocery store. Low on food, makes sense to fill up the refridgerator with the essentials.
This is when the day got really crappy. I'm out the door in the garage when I realized I had forgotten something inside - what? I can't remember anymore - and went to get my house keys when I realized I didn't have them. Panic sets in. No, I tell myself, I have them, they are definitely here, I know I grabbed them. No, I didn't. Apparently the one thing I needed at that moment I didn't have. I looked in the back seat where I put my reusable bags after I had closed the door. Not there. I completely emptied the contents of my purse onto the passenger seat. Not there. This can't be happening, I told myself. I began to panic. The panic accelerated my blood too much, and because I have low blood pressure (it's just as bad as high blood pressure) I started to feel faint from the rapid increase in blood flow. Oh gosh, I told myself. No, wait, there is a spare key in the garage for just such an occasion. I went to the holder and found a key. This will get me in, stop worrying. I tried the key in the door, and it went in but turned nothing. Oh no. I looked at the key. It's the one to the gate, I said out loud. Oh god. I went out the garage to the back door and tried the key again. Oh god, it really is the key to the gate! This is not happening. Major panic setting in, nearing hyperventilation, feeling really faint. I looked for my cell phone in my purse. Oh god, it's not here! I thought to myself, I have no way of getting a hold of anyone. I'm going to be locked out forever. I looked on the back seat and luckily I had placed my cell phone near the reusable bags and it was sitting there waiting for me. Thank god! I called my mom in my panic. "I locked myself out," I sobbed. "And I tried the key. It's the wrong key. I don't have any resources to call anyone." "What do you want me to do?" she asked. "I'm not there. I can't let you in." "I know," I said, "but I don't have any resources because I'm in the garage and I don't have Google or a phone book and I need you to help me by calling a locksmith." So, she called one and he was on his way. Nope. I sat in my car. I got out and paced the garage. I got back in my car. I waited and waited with nothing to do and no plan on going anywhere until I was back inside. 50 minutes later I call the locksmith. "Hi this is that person locked out of her house. It's been almost an hour and I was wondering how much longer it might be?" I managed to hold back the tears. "It will be about 30 minutes. I'm helping a woman who locked her child in the car." "Oh, I guess that's OK. Just checking." I felt a little like a chump, but not really because people should call when they're going to be over an hour from their destination. Got KFarr to come help me attempt to pick the lock. "Do you have a key or something we could use?" he asked over the phone as he was preparing to leave his house. "Uh, no. I don't. My toolbox is inside with key. Not a great scenario." I started welling up again. He showed up about 10 minutes later with paper clips and a few screwdrivers. "We'll see what we can do," he said. Yeah, we did nothing to help the situation. Finally, at 4:00 (about 15 minutes after KFarr arrived), the locksmith called that he was outside the gate. I get to the corner to see him trying to beat the car gate closing on his Jeep Cheroke. I showed him the locks on the house. "These are good locks," he said. "Good to know," I respond. What do you say when you're locked out and the locksmith is commenting on the quality of the locks? "OK, so there are three ways to get this open," he said. "I'll first try picking it. If that doesn't work, we'll have to use air pressure. If that doesn't work, I'll have to drill a hole in the lock and it won't be usable." Awesome, I thought to myself. Luckily, he got to step two and it popped open. I've never been so happy about being home in my life! I sign the receipt for $80 - because the ten minutes it took him to open the door cost $50 on top of the $30 travel fee - and peace out Mr. Locksmith.
Basically the rest of my day has been kicking myself over the dumb stupid mistake of leaving my keys inside, and then spending an hour and a half sitting on the couch before heading back to campus for another night of duty.
Here's what angers me about the situation: There was a house key in the tin. Where the fuck did it go?! But moreso, why the fuck did I leave that damn key in the house in the first place? How did I manage that? I always grab all my keys before leaving! What happened? But really, where the hell did that key go? And then not being able to be in my house tonight after spending two hours locked outside of it really makes me angry. I didn't get anything done this afternoon because I was so upset. Didn't get to the damn store. Didn't get a chance to start my laundry. This whole damn weekend was ruined by being on duty, because I was trying to get things done before my mandatory campus lockdown. I hate duty.
Two hours! I was locked out for two hours! I spent most of those two hours trying not to cry. That didn't work out so well. And then I was just angry it took so long to get the locksmith there. Seriously? There wasn't another guy they could have sent while he was getting the kid out of the car? I never want to feel that vulnerable again. I hated it. I hated feeling stupid for leaving the key in the first place. I'm angry at myself for that.
Plus side, the locksmith did say we might be able to file with insurance to get money back from the lockout. That would be nice.
Moral of the story: Have at least two keys in a variety of secure locations in case this happens to you. It was expensive, embarassing, and awful. I wish it upon no one.
Here's the rundown: This weekend I've been the Hall Director on duty while the rest of Residence Life frolics in wild unknown on a retreat. It's not that unknown. Mostly it's a center near a river and there aren't a lot of people around. More rural than anything. Point being, I'm doing them this huge favor by sleeping on campus and responding in case anything happens. More of an insurance policy if anything. Last night nothing happened. Nothing has happened so far tonight, either. But I'm in a very old building on the complete other side of campus from everyone else and the room has poor air circulation. This leads us into today's crappyness.
Last night I had the window open so it was at least a little cooler in here. That led to whatever blooms outside the window to get it's little pollen bits into the room, which led to me waking up with a headache (I have bad allergies). So, I have this slight headache for a good portion of the morning which increases in pain and tension until about 1:00. I had left campus and headed home while most people had their Saturday morning sleep-in, had breakfast, played with the babies a little, showered, and gone to Target before that time, so not too bad. But the headache needed to go, so I took an Excedrin - best medicine for a headache of any kind. After some lunch and a bit of a rest, I finally felt well enough to go to the grocery store. Low on food, makes sense to fill up the refridgerator with the essentials.
This is when the day got really crappy. I'm out the door in the garage when I realized I had forgotten something inside - what? I can't remember anymore - and went to get my house keys when I realized I didn't have them. Panic sets in. No, I tell myself, I have them, they are definitely here, I know I grabbed them. No, I didn't. Apparently the one thing I needed at that moment I didn't have. I looked in the back seat where I put my reusable bags after I had closed the door. Not there. I completely emptied the contents of my purse onto the passenger seat. Not there. This can't be happening, I told myself. I began to panic. The panic accelerated my blood too much, and because I have low blood pressure (it's just as bad as high blood pressure) I started to feel faint from the rapid increase in blood flow. Oh gosh, I told myself. No, wait, there is a spare key in the garage for just such an occasion. I went to the holder and found a key. This will get me in, stop worrying. I tried the key in the door, and it went in but turned nothing. Oh no. I looked at the key. It's the one to the gate, I said out loud. Oh god. I went out the garage to the back door and tried the key again. Oh god, it really is the key to the gate! This is not happening. Major panic setting in, nearing hyperventilation, feeling really faint. I looked for my cell phone in my purse. Oh god, it's not here! I thought to myself, I have no way of getting a hold of anyone. I'm going to be locked out forever. I looked on the back seat and luckily I had placed my cell phone near the reusable bags and it was sitting there waiting for me. Thank god! I called my mom in my panic. "I locked myself out," I sobbed. "And I tried the key. It's the wrong key. I don't have any resources to call anyone." "What do you want me to do?" she asked. "I'm not there. I can't let you in." "I know," I said, "but I don't have any resources because I'm in the garage and I don't have Google or a phone book and I need you to help me by calling a locksmith." So, she called one and he was on his way. Nope. I sat in my car. I got out and paced the garage. I got back in my car. I waited and waited with nothing to do and no plan on going anywhere until I was back inside. 50 minutes later I call the locksmith. "Hi this is that person locked out of her house. It's been almost an hour and I was wondering how much longer it might be?" I managed to hold back the tears. "It will be about 30 minutes. I'm helping a woman who locked her child in the car." "Oh, I guess that's OK. Just checking." I felt a little like a chump, but not really because people should call when they're going to be over an hour from their destination. Got KFarr to come help me attempt to pick the lock. "Do you have a key or something we could use?" he asked over the phone as he was preparing to leave his house. "Uh, no. I don't. My toolbox is inside with key. Not a great scenario." I started welling up again. He showed up about 10 minutes later with paper clips and a few screwdrivers. "We'll see what we can do," he said. Yeah, we did nothing to help the situation. Finally, at 4:00 (about 15 minutes after KFarr arrived), the locksmith called that he was outside the gate. I get to the corner to see him trying to beat the car gate closing on his Jeep Cheroke. I showed him the locks on the house. "These are good locks," he said. "Good to know," I respond. What do you say when you're locked out and the locksmith is commenting on the quality of the locks? "OK, so there are three ways to get this open," he said. "I'll first try picking it. If that doesn't work, we'll have to use air pressure. If that doesn't work, I'll have to drill a hole in the lock and it won't be usable." Awesome, I thought to myself. Luckily, he got to step two and it popped open. I've never been so happy about being home in my life! I sign the receipt for $80 - because the ten minutes it took him to open the door cost $50 on top of the $30 travel fee - and peace out Mr. Locksmith.
Basically the rest of my day has been kicking myself over the dumb stupid mistake of leaving my keys inside, and then spending an hour and a half sitting on the couch before heading back to campus for another night of duty.
Here's what angers me about the situation: There was a house key in the tin. Where the fuck did it go?! But moreso, why the fuck did I leave that damn key in the house in the first place? How did I manage that? I always grab all my keys before leaving! What happened? But really, where the hell did that key go? And then not being able to be in my house tonight after spending two hours locked outside of it really makes me angry. I didn't get anything done this afternoon because I was so upset. Didn't get to the damn store. Didn't get a chance to start my laundry. This whole damn weekend was ruined by being on duty, because I was trying to get things done before my mandatory campus lockdown. I hate duty.
Two hours! I was locked out for two hours! I spent most of those two hours trying not to cry. That didn't work out so well. And then I was just angry it took so long to get the locksmith there. Seriously? There wasn't another guy they could have sent while he was getting the kid out of the car? I never want to feel that vulnerable again. I hated it. I hated feeling stupid for leaving the key in the first place. I'm angry at myself for that.
Plus side, the locksmith did say we might be able to file with insurance to get money back from the lockout. That would be nice.
Moral of the story: Have at least two keys in a variety of secure locations in case this happens to you. It was expensive, embarassing, and awful. I wish it upon no one.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Oh, friends
Last Friday I had a great talk with my friend, Kate, who I haven't seen in a while and needed to hear from. And then I called my friend, Derek, who has been stationed in Idaho with his lovely wife, Holly, for way too long.
I miss the days when all you had to do to see a friend was walk less than 100 yards to their house or dorm room. I find it very hard to catch up with my friends who have moved out of the area. Or friends who are still in the same town but live on the other side. Am I the only one?
Maybe I'm depressed. I don't have a friend here to live with me so I don't get lonely. I have two pet rats, precious but don't contribute much to conversation.
Recently I've been getting urges to go out and do something. What do I do, though? I sit around the house. Everyone already has plans with their roommates, or someone who lives closer to them. Spontaneity does not happen as frequently as it once did. In college, if I wanted to get some cake there was usually at least one of three other housemates who wanted to get cake, too. Or would go for a walk with me.
I am lonely. I admit to it. Totally. I'm lonely for friends. I'm lonely for a significant other. Living on your own totally sucks... and now to find a job.
I miss the days when all you had to do to see a friend was walk less than 100 yards to their house or dorm room. I find it very hard to catch up with my friends who have moved out of the area. Or friends who are still in the same town but live on the other side. Am I the only one?
Maybe I'm depressed. I don't have a friend here to live with me so I don't get lonely. I have two pet rats, precious but don't contribute much to conversation.
Recently I've been getting urges to go out and do something. What do I do, though? I sit around the house. Everyone already has plans with their roommates, or someone who lives closer to them. Spontaneity does not happen as frequently as it once did. In college, if I wanted to get some cake there was usually at least one of three other housemates who wanted to get cake, too. Or would go for a walk with me.
I am lonely. I admit to it. Totally. I'm lonely for friends. I'm lonely for a significant other. Living on your own totally sucks... and now to find a job.
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